How I thrived through my divorce.

There is no way I can tell you about my journey and passion for becoming a life coach without detailing how I was able to thrive after my divorce.

As the Pop-Out Coach, I help the introverted woman fearlessly move in power and purpose so that they no longer feel stuck but embrace their transition from backstage to front stage in everything they do!

Let’s go through my journey, shall we…

My journey didn’t start as a coach, I have heard many people say before and now understand what they mean when they say they stumbled into it. All I ever wanted was to be a wife, mommy to about five children and to just serve wherever I could. I was always okay with being in the backseat and behind the scenes. But God had other plans for me.

First stop! My Broken Marriage 

I went through two years of a very difficult marriage that caused me so much pain, depression, and anxiety. It’s was literally like a scene out of a tabloid because no one had seen it coming, not even me. We were the couple that everyone was rooting for. Marriage difficulties are common and oftentimes people can push past them, but this was not the case for me. I exhausted all efforts to salvage our relationship until there was nothing left to salvage. As devastating as it was and as much of a shock it was to my family, friends, church, and coworkers. It was a new reality that I had to face which was it wasn’t going to work.

Second Stop! Accept No Mediocre Life

In that time, I beat myself about what I could have done differently and why I wasn’t good enough to hold on to a man. Girl, all the negative things I should have never thought about. I soon realized the issues were bigger than me. I held tight to so many limiting beliefs that it stunted my growth and I felt downright stuck. 

However, I made chose to shift my mindset and do the work on myself. I knew I had to pull myself together for me, my daughter, and for the next woman that felt similar pain but didn’t know where to turn. I knew that if my low self-worth and not loving myself can take me the lowest I had ever been, nearly losing my mind and wanting to give up on my own life that I wasn’t the only one.

Next Stop! I wanted to quit!

Well yes, it would seem like after just changing my mindset, everything would just fall into place, but it didn’t happen that way. I went back and forth, trying to go back to the old way I saw myself and still hoping to be noticed by my husband even though I saw that it was falling apart. Every attempt was made to change my appearance and the way I talked, my interest, my desires, anything to get him to love me. I would ask myself: What would I do after divorce? What would my purpose in life be now?

I dedicated myself to the vision for my marriage and who I thought my husband was to be and never the vision of who I was. I know, I am not the only one. Soon, I had fallen into a deep depression and now I was depending on alcohol and medication to get through the days. I felt there was no reason to see the joy in my life and that it was the end of my happy days now and to come. I wanted to just quit fighting.

Next! Faith Over Fear!

It’s funny how the help that I needed was already there with me. Although I was a believer and I knew that God loved me, I just felt that what I was going through was my fault. I was afraid and I lost my faith in what I was losing. I reached my lowest point to where I just didn’t want to live anymore, the pain was just too much to bear and when I reached this point it was when I decided to turn to the savior of my soul to give me some guidance, to rescue me, because after all I obviously couldn’t rescue myself. The comfort, peace, and second chance came from me through the love of God.

This is where I went back to my roots. The combination of therapy, support from loves ones, and holding on to the word of God is what brought me out of that depression and anxiety. I now had hope for what was to come. The word of God says that he has not given us the spirit of fear but of love, power, and a sound mind! I held on tight to this one.

Last Stop! My Power and Purpose!

I left the pain in the past and took charge of my future! I took my healing one day at a time and chose to no longer live a mediocre life where I made excuses. The choice was made to embrace my transition from being a wife into being a single woman again. I divorced and I held my head high because I knew that I was already beautiful and resilient and I would never be silenced or walk in low self-worth again.

What started as leaving my corporate position to start my cake business, quickly shifted from there. I started with a Facebook series called Cakes and Conversations where I gave baking tips and also gave motivational tips and life advice. I was terrified of being on camera, but I knew this was what I was supposed to do, let the people know how they too could thrive through anything. 

It was a hit and I loved sharing every single week. My passion to help people conquer their fears grew into many women returning with testimonies, reports, and success stories on how they learned and grew from my videos. For as long as I could remember I have always been building up other women. My friends even call me Mama Val. I remember getting to the point in my journey that I didn’t want to continue my life without dedicating myself to helping other women that didn’t feel good enough.

I finally saw hope and promise in what I was called to do. So here I am ready and willing to motivate and prepare you to make an impact through all you have persevered through.

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